FAQs

A lot of folx want an expert as a coach. And I get it. It’s commonplace for folx dishing out advice to call themselves a coach vs a consultant—and if I’m getting advice from someone, I want to know they have the experience to back it up. The tenet of my coaching philosophy draws a strict boundary between giving advice and coaching you to find your own answers. It’s not unlike a sports coach finding ways to push and unlock a player’s skill vs making the shot for them.

As a former consultant, executive, entrepreneur, and startup founder I can be easily tempted to tip-toe back into the advice realm; however, please know that I’m dedicated to you unleashing and leveraging your own wisdom.

While therapy is focused on our past, coaching is focused on our present and presence—leading us into an intentional future. Since our past provides the context for what shapes us, limits us, and drives us, coaching and therapy often go hand-in-hand. Coaching may lead to therapy and therapy may open one up to coaching.

An analogy: someone may want to see a personal trainer to get into shape or train for a specific event. While the personal trainer (“coach”) will want to be aware of any prior or current physical concerns so they can tailor their training, they will not directly diagnose nor treat—that will be done by the doctors and occupational/physical therapists (“therapist”). Since coaching doesn’t require licensure, it’s especially critical for the client and coach to respect the limits and boundaries of coaching.

Healing, like coaching, isn’t therapy (see above), which means that creating space for pausing in the present for healing does not include any diagnostics or treatments.

As a version of the saying goes: the biggest obstacle we face is myself. This doesn’t mean we’re bad or wrong or (insert your self-judgment here). On the contrary, it means that we’re inherently brilliant—born with insatiable instincts for survival. These instincts serve us well ahead of adulthood, keeping us safe (or as safe as we can be) and because we need them for survival, we get really, really good at them. Sooo good that we forget we’re even doing it. These “Conditioned Tendencies” then become ways we limit ourselves, make ourselves small or blindly big, you name it. Not only do they become stories we live, continually reinforcing our beliefs, but they take up residence in our body, in our somas.

With skill and guidance (like coaching), we can find our ways to seeing those blocks, the foundations of our “Winning Strategies”. But as GI Joe loved to remind us in the 80s: Knowing is (only) half the battle. After seeing, we must take on the courageous work of being with and honoring these tendencies and strategies—healing from our past, in the present.

Healing work within coaching is always grounded in the present, for the sake of being able to move into your desired future. It can “look” a lot of different ways (silence, moments of profound feeling, connecting with younger parts of yourself, somatic intuitive bodywork), yet the common thread through all is s-p-a-c-i-o-u-s-n-e-s-s … often a friction point within the velocity of coaching.

When we’re pressuring ourselves to change, our Conditioned Tendencies and Winning Strategies bolster up, preparing for battle. And so, we sit with deep witnessing and acceptance to what is (vs what “should” be) until it releases (“heals“), allowing us to reshape our soma and rewrite our stories. I dive a little deeper into somatics, and why I use a somatic approach in my coaching here—and how bodywork can support coaching and transformation.

Sessions may be virtual or in-person. We start with a general check-in to assess the state of your autonomic nervous system (ANS) and feel for what you’d like to focus on or what calls us. While the default for in-person is to lie on a table fully clothed, I’ve worked with folx with limited mobility as they reclined in a chair, laid in a medical bed, or laid down on a pad on the floor—whatever is most comfortable and accessible to you and your body.

• It’s not massage. The level of touch, when used, is light. Some folx liken the level of physical touch to Biodynamic CranialSacral Therapy or Reiki. Energetic touch may also be used in lieu of physical touch, as well as self-touch for anchoring.
• It’s not therapy. Our bodies hold emotions and memories. We hold space for allowing, witnessing, acknowledging, and appreciating all that arises and is. That can be powerful and ‘enough’ for a big emotion to pass like a wave. Crying, sighing, laughing, singing, breathing—release is OK. You are always at agency for how much/little story you want to bring in and share aloud. If you’ve recently experienced trauma and/or struggle with emotional regulation, I will require that you are also engaged with a licensed therapist if we choose to engage and will happily connect you with trusted professionals.
• It’s restful. How often do you treat yourself with an hour of the day that’s all about you, your comfort, and your brilliance? Your body is brilliant. It’s kept you alive, it keeps you safe, and it holds your desires, divinity, and love. Giving your body an hour to be witnessed and held can feel nourishing, spiritual, restful, and/or loaded with self-care.
• Healing and change are paradoxes: they require us to fully accept what is before receiving and experiencing what may be next—and that starts with awareness. With awareness, we can tap into our compassion, empathy, love, and gratitude—which can then release our current state, allowing it to continue its journey and freeing us up for what’s next. In the context of somatic bodywork, this can feel like gentle pressure to bring awareness to a physical space which can then invite acceptance and gratitude which then can release—but only if the intention is not to release or force change. This is how somatic focusing can yield liberation and change.